Did you hear about Dan's newest blog? 
by Dan Rzewnicki, Editor in Chief
January 19, 2012
Have you heard the latest hallway gossip? Did you know that Dan Rzewnicki hates gossip? You got it. Gossip really grinds my gears.
Gossip serves as the armpit of all subjects of conversation. Anyone can crack up the latest hallway rumor and spread it among his or her peers quite easily. Yet, what purpose does gossip serve? Gossip provides no more factual information than a 90-year-old man with Alzheimer's. Furthermore, gossip wastes time that gossips and innocent students alike could use for something productive – like talking about useful topics: peanut butter sandwiches for instance.
How can stories morph so much when in the hands of gossips? Maybe spreading gossip just makes them feel warm and fuzzy inside to twist a story and ruin someone's reputation, or at the least, someone’s day. Maybe gossips just simply lack the intellectual capacity to follow a story from beginning to end, so they fill in the gaps with their own construed and completely false notions. Either way, it dumbfounds me that "he has a new girlfriend" changes to "he left his wife of three months to date a girl from Kiski with three legs and an eye patch."
Why are the subjects of gossip always the last people to know? For instance, why has everyone always failed to ask, "Are you really dating a girl from Kiski with three legs and an eye patch?" The gossips always fail to afford their subjects the chance to defend themselves, or even to provide any input at all. Maybe they fear participating in a subject based on factual information. Or maybe they fear confrontation. Or possibly they fear not enjoying something to gossip about for the rest of the day.
What possesses gossips to spread gossip in the first place? It seems as soon as they acquire information, it bursts from their mouths to the next waiting ear. To be quite honest, very few sensible people actually listen to gossip. The choice to spread gossip is your business, but I know that when I hear the latest gossip I often point and laugh at the person pitiful enough to spread it.
Maybe more importantly, spreading gossip, thinking you are first to get out the newest dirt on someone, doesn't make you any cooler. Sorry to disappoint you.
Another question: Why do people fabricate ridiculous stories when they don't know or they fail to understand the real story? Fabricating a story about someone else is so horribly immoral that gossips should be forced to eat leftover cafeteria for a month (the only school appropriate punishment I could think of).
Haven’t gossips ever realized that when the real story emerges (and they truth always finds a way of emerging from the pile of B.S. it’s been buried under), it’s the gossips that seem like the biggest idiots ever?
Gossip is as a conversation-starter for the intellectually inferior.
Seriously people, even commenting about the weather paints a more sophisticated self-portrait than commenting on the latest gossip. If you wish to atone for your horrible acts of gossip and to cure your habits, I will leave you with a few instructions.
First, actually work on something like homework or productive activities during the school day! Imagine that! Who would have thought to spend time learning and enriching themselves at school? (Do I have to tell you I am being sarcastic here?)
Next, consider the facts. Think of the likelihood of a person with three legs and an eye patch. And to attend Kiski on top of that? Do you realize how unlucky that person would have to be?
Lastly, try to realize that students with half their wits couldn’t care less about gossip. Gossip and the people frivolous enough to spread it really grind my gears.
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